One of those things us Pinoy find difficult to do is to get help. Many drivers, myself included, find it difficult to ask for directions – never mind that we run the risk of getting lost. I remember as students, we seldom approach our teachers for help, even at the risk of failing the subject. As married couples, the idea of getting counseling seems to be very alien to us even if we are at the brink of separation. In my younger years, the idea of self-help was always the best way to go and the concept of asking, let alone getting help, was too much for my pride to handle. At times when we do get help, we are very selective as to who to seek out help from – usually just very close relatives only or very good friends even if they are not really qualified to help. Somehow, our egos are bruised whenever we get help. In many instances, by the time we do get help, we are already in a desperate situation.

In the area of personal finance, many of us bring about the same disdain for getting help. Somehow we chose to ignore the many writings on the wall that becomes evident, until it’s too late. Logic dictates that when we can’t do things for ourselves, we should seek help. However, human beings are not always known to follow logic, this writer included. Just like refusing to get help when we are into substance abuse, we also refuse to get help when we are losing control over our financial future. The same results will always be guaranteed, a lot of stress that are really going to consume us.

Take the case of excessive borrowing – even if we are buried in debt, it takes us a long time to get help and in most cases, our situation is so desperate, there are very few who can help us. We feel that we can solve our own problems and that they are temporary but in most cases, we can’t solve our problems and they are not temporary.  We have this belief that getting help is a sign of weakness and that foolish belief has blinded us from being delivered from our folly sooner than later. When we do get help, our actions may already be too late and we find ourselves in despair and our self-worth beyond redemption. Some of us have become cynical because we feel that others will not help us and on the extreme, some feels that being helped is the obligation of others. Here’s my view, it is because of our own actions that we are where we are — in trouble. Therefore, we ought to get help so we have a better chance of improving our situation.

Help isn’t always an outright dole-out. In many cases, sound, objective and sensible advice are all we need. If our problems are financial in nature, it is best to seek out the help and counsel of someone who you know is financially responsible and adequate. You wouldn’t get marital advice from someone who has a failed marriage right? Same with help that is financial in nature.

When you get help, make sure that the person you approach is credible and objective; otherwise your situation might even be compromised. Just like seeking a doctor for your medical concern, you may also seek financial professionals to help you. There are credible financial planners today who are more than capable to help you by giving you sound advice – and you’d be surprise that they would not charge you an arm and a leg for their services. My tip is to look for independent financial planners who are charges a fee as against financial planners who sell financial products as buying financial products may not be in your best interest until your situation improves. You can also get help from non-financial people – those who have a good command of their finances, their real-life experiences makes them very qualified.

You may also want to start listening to people who can help you – responsible friends, church leaders, superiors at work or your HR Department (if you are employed). Reading books and attending seminars are also forms of getting help.

Don’t try to delay your act of getting help as your situation will not get any better unless you are proactive about it – these are one of those things that “the sooner, the better”.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22, NIV”

Catch Chinkee Tan, Cito Beltran and myself at a life-changing event entitled “All About Money: Living the Life You Can Afford” on April 24, 2010 (Saturday) from 9am to 1pm at the Victory Ortigas Center, 4^th Level, West Wing, Robinsons Galleria. Tickets are only at P400.00. For ticket inquiries, call or text Jenny Ignacio – Magalong at 09391177856 or send email to jcignacio.magalong@gmail.com.

Ever wonder why Frank Sinatra’s song ‘My Way’ remains to be a favorite today especially amongst us Pinoys? Every sing-along joint will have that song as the most requested number; not to add the thousands of magic sing owners who would sing that song over and over again. Furthermore, books and seminars about empowerment are also big favorites and motivational talks/speakers that revolve around self actualization and self reliance is sure to be a hit. Why? Because we just love the idea that we can achieve anything we want if we so chose too.

To a great degree, I agree with that mind set but we also need to understand the limitations that we have. I am all for self-actualization and motivating oneself, but we also need to understand that we need help most of the time. Pride is a good thing but when we become blind to achieving greater heights because of it, pride becomes a liability.

Let’s look at the issue of personal finance. There are many of us who find ourselves in a position of anxiety if not despair. Despite all our effort and intentions, we find our situation stagnant if not deteriorating. Time and time again, we vow that we will try harder to put our financial condition in a better state and in the end, realize that our valiant efforts are put into waste.

Here’s a solution – get help! Often times, our misplaced pride prevents us from the benefit of being helped by others. We are ashamed to seek help because we sometimes don’t want to face the fact that we are in trouble or we may not have the capacity to solve our own problems. We really can’t keep on doing the same things and expect a different result, that’s insane – and yet that is something many of us do, this writer included.

One of the best help we can get is objectivity. In times when we are too close to the fire to see it, the objectivity of someone else can help us see the bigger picture. Financial planners are trained to look at financial situations as a whole, from the big picture approach. Well trained practitioners can help you assess your situation and offer you solutions you normally would not think of, or are too stubborn to admit.

Another big help we can get is intervention. In severe cases, we need to seek help that will result to intervention. Seeking legal help is an obvious situation but it can go beyond lawyers and financial planners. Sometimes, a temporary intervention by a well-meaning individual can do wonders until we learn how to cope up and catch up. Or, we need to be open minded enough to be rebuked by others so we can see the error of our ways.

I am a financial planner and have been a part of the financial services industry for over 2 decades. Yet, I also need help even in financial matters. I can get too absorbed in my situation that I lose perspective. Recently, I was blessed to seek help from a good friend and mentor, Mr. Cito Beltran. My wife and I asked for counsel in many aspects – career, business, family, faith, relationships and yes, even personal finance. The nature of my work (as a consultant and entrepreneur) can result to some cash flow concerns which I can be a bit hard-headed in addressing. I’m the financial planner and I should be the one giving advise right? Wrong. My objectivity with regard to my own affairs can be clouded and I needed to get help from people I know who can offer it. Cito, although not a trained financial planner, can see things from a wider perspective than I can with regard to my own situation. His experience in real life far outweighs whatever training I took through the years. I am currently refocusing and redirecting my activities because someone helped me and I thank the Lord that there are people out there who would be willing to help.

By the way, no one can help you if you don’t ask for it. Try seeking help, it might be the best thing you can do for yourself and that’s what I call wisdom.

He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. – Proverbs 28:26, NIV

** this appears in the Mar-April issue of Moneysense.

I wrote this blog about 18 months ago… nice to be reminded.

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Most people have a lot of regrets in life, albeit they may not want to admit it publicly or even to themselves. Most regrets stem from bad decisions. How often have we made bad decisions and wished we could have some sort of a “do-over”?

I have made a lot of mistakes in life that I later regretted. One thing I have learned is that getting counsel from people helps—just make sure that you chose the right counsel. As I am in the midst of a very big decision, I had a nice talk with the two best counsels I ever had, Pastors Dennis Sy and Chinkee Tan of Victory Christian Fellowship in Greenhills.

Besides giving me very wise counsel, they recommended that I read the book The Best Question Ever by Andy Stanley. I would say that had I read that book earlier in my life, I would’ve avoided making many unwise decisions that I would later regret.

What I am going to say will come as a shock to many of the readers: Most of my regrets in life are those that deal with personal finance. How can someone who claims to be a “personal finance coach and educator” have so many regrets on personal finance? Well, it is because of my many mistakes that I resolved to be one who can help people avoid the mistakes that I made and the regrets that I had to live with.

I’ll be borrowing the blogging style of my friend Raff Oca and do a list of my mistakes. Here goes:

§          Spending every peso I make: For some reasons I feltthat I needed to spend every single centavo I make; anyway, I’ll earn again. What a fool I have been.

§          Not saving early enough: If I could wind back time, I’ll set a certain percentage for saving no matter how ridiculously small it is.

§          Not buying life insurance early enough when I was much healthier and premiums were much cheaper.

§          Buying the wrong kind of life insurance.

§          Buying too many gadgets and electronic stuff; they really have no resale value.

§          Investing in the stock market when I should have avoided it and not investing in it when I should have.

§          Buying too many toys for my children; I really should have limited what I bought for them because they sometimes do not appreciate what they have and it teaches the wrong values.

§          Buying too many things on credit. Ouch!

§          Buying a piece of real estate too early, too soon.

§          Buying expensive watches and other jewelries just because it was the “in” thing to do. (Can I get anymore stupid than that?)

§          Eating too many times at too many restaurants.

§          Not starting a business earlier than I should have.

§          Changing cars too often and buying gas-guzzlers.

§          Not buying motor-car insurance; wrecked a car that had no coverage.

§          Not learning the value of giving tithes earlier (best investment there is!).

. . . and the list goes on.

While I did make a lot of mistakes in the past, I will have to say I am still blessed. Blessed? Yes, the Lord still blessed me. I may not be able to turn back time and have a do-over, but I am still blessed to realize my mistakes with enough time. . . time for me to make a life-adjusting course change, particularly in the area of personal finance.

Time remains to be one of the most valuable resources we have and it should be used properly for us to live a victorious life. In Job 14:5 (NIV), it says, “Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” With much time, much can be accomplished; with limited time, what can be accomplished is, likewise, limited.

There are many bad decisions we do in life; they do add up. I like what Andy Stanley said in his book: “Neglect has a cumulative effect.” We are where we are today because of the cumulative effect of our actions. If you are happy where you are right now, you can assume that you made more good decisions than bad ones throughout the years. However, if you are not happy with your situation today, you may have to face the fact that you have made a lot of bad decisions through the years.

I felt the desire to educate people so that those who listen can avoid the regrets I had to live with. While it is a popular cliché, experience is not really the best teacher. Make a list of things you regret; if the list is too long like mine, it’s time for you to have a self-realization and it’s also time for you to seek counsel. Sit down with people who can really help you, for, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15 NIV).