For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

— Isaiah 9:6, King James Version

May the Lord continue to bless you and give you an abundant and productive life ahead. Let us not forget the reason for this season, Jesus Christ. May we always let Christ reign in our lives.

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas!

For the last 3 weeks, our church (Victory Green Hills) ran a series on manhood. It has been eye opener to many of us who have been attending the services and a more focused big group discussion for the last 3 weeks.

Today’s perception on what a real man is so obscure because of culture and media. When you talk about a real man, one would think of a typical half naked and unbelievably buffed model you see in EDSA billboards (are they really men to start with, me thinks). To others, the picture of a real man is one who is fierce, stoic, can take in a lot of alcohol and ready to jump into a brawl. Whether the image of a real man is one who has sculpted abs or a beer belly, our society has a twisted image of what a man should be and for us men, we seem to be clueless on how we should act, think and behave.

In a radio show I co-hosted (as a fill-in), we had a guest who had an incredible story. He is your classic rags to riches story and against allodds, even on the brink of death, our guest survived, thrived and became very successful. He seems to be a nice person, kind, generous and willing to share his knowledge and even his wealth to better the lives of those around him. He truly is an admirable fellow and it was really a pleasure conversing with him. No person, no matter what he has achieved is perfect. This nice guest of ours has an incredible story, besides his rise to success. He is a father of 14 children with 14 different women. While many were amazed at his life story, more were impressed upon his virility and people started to call him ‘idol’. While I do not judge our guest, I am saddened that many will find his ‘adventurous romantic episodes’ as something to be admired and worse, emulated. Well, I guess it’s ‘to each his own’, I suppose.

If society has conflicting views and many of us have settled for less than what a man ought to be, the last 3 weeks have made me realize that God expects his men to be more than what society can ever define. Here are 3 critical learning on the role of real men I picked up from our Pastor Dennis Sy:

1) Provider: lead financially. While there is nothing wrong with women working and helping their family financially, the role of the man of the house is to provide for the needs of his loved ones. Man should go out and work for a living and provide a comfortable life for his family as best as he can. Providing doesn’t mean that men should give his family an ostentatious lifestyle that will make him a slave to work and be an absentee father as a result. Having a stable home and providing for such a home will always be the responsibility of the men. It is sad to see many women work hard and their husbands are left at home. Call it the modern family and call me old-fashioned but I believe there should not be reversal of roles in this case. I wrote about my thoughts on this in an earlier blog.

2) Warrior: lead physically and emotionally. In the family, the man is the head of the family and he should act as such. There is a reason that the men were created to be sturdier, stronger and maybe even less emotional as the women. Men should not abdicate his role as the leader and hold the family together. Being a warrior does not mean he canbe insensitive and push his weight around, that’s a sign of weakness. A real man would know when he should acknowledge the wisdom of his wife, accept his limitations and yet stand firm for his decisions. I don’t think women would like their men to be a push-over, indecisive or cannot take his responsibilities seriously.

3) Pastor: lead spiritually. While our faith in the Lord is an individual concern, the real man should act as the spiritual head of the family. As a husband and a father, the Lord has bestowed upon me the spiritual covering for my family. It is imminent for us men to pray for our loved ones regularly and with intensity. Our faith in the Lord is something our children can emulate, not from lengthy sermons but from what they actually see in us. I once had a friend who got concerned that his young children decided not to go to church; I gently reminded him his children only copies what they see from him and since he is infrequent in going to the church, they started to think they shouldn’t as well. The good news is my friend started going back to church regularly and is now walking with Christ. Our children read their bibles not so much because we tell them so, but more so because they see us read, especially me.  Filipina women have traditionally been more pious but let me tell you that when the men exhibit a close relationship with the Lord, it is a totally different ball game. As the spiritual head, we can actually intercede for our loved ones and I am certain the good Lord listens to all our prayers.

Further, and more importantly, the real man submits to the real authority. He submits to the authority of Jesus Christ who is the real master of his life.

Whew, writing this blog has overwhelmed me if I am to be totally honest. The burdens of being a man, and a godly man at that, is not easy task nor for the faint hearted. However, it is also only by the grace of God can we do all these. Apart from Him, I can’t really do much. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13, NLT

Be a man according to culture or society? Or be a real man in the image and likeness of the Lord? The choice is ours to make.

To learn more on being a real man, check out Act Like a Man

Efren is one of the country’s most notable champions of financial literacy. He is a best-selling author, columnist and one of the most sought after speaker/trainer in the arena of personal finance. You will find Efren giving lectures all over the country educating hundreds of participants each time. There are also thousands of people who have benefited much from reading his two books. More than being notable, I am proud to say that Mr. Efren Ll. Cruz is perhaps one of the most respected individuals in the financial services industry.

I first met Efren after in 2006 after a class in Registered Financial Planner (RFP). Henry Ong, RFP President invited me to join their lunch Efren and his friend Atty. Caloy Ocampo. My initial impression on Efren was that he was a tad timid and very unassuming. He mentioned that he just wrote a book entitled Pwede Na! The Complete Pinoy Guide to Personal Finance which I ended up buying from him that day. As I read his book, I was enamored at the wisdom of Efren and I can discern his passion to help ordinary Filipinos get financially literate and achieve financial freedom. That fateful lunch was the beginning of my admiration for Efren, in fact I am proud to say that I am one of his earliest fans and I continue to be a fan!

Efren has an impressive pedigree in his area of expertise. He holds an MBA from the University of the Philippines and has been in the financial services industry for over 25 years, 18 years of which is in fund management. Efren is no stranger to managing wealth, working for institutions like Far East Bank, Grepalife Asset Management, Standard Chartered Bank and others. He is also one of the driving forces behind the mutual fund industry, serving at the Investment Company Association of the Philippines (ICAP) twice as President and once as Chairman. He also co-founded the Fund Managers Association of the Philippines. Efren has definitely earned the respect of his peers because of his hard work and dedication.

Efren is a favorite of many publications; as a contributor or columnists for Business Mirror, Moneysense and the Philippine Daily Inquirer. He is also a frequent resource person for many Radio and TV shows, too many to enumerate. He is one of the directors of the Registered Financial Planner Institute and a regular moderator of the program where he teaches on personal finance and investments.

One of Efren’s main advocacies is financial education for the workforce. Efren and his company, the Personal Finance Advisers Philippines Corp. has been in the forefront of providing financial literacy to many employees. He makes employers understand that it is in their best interest that employees are financially literate to ensure competitiveness and minimize work conflicts that will have a severe impact on bottom line. Efren Cruz has been actively seeking corporations to allow him and his company to teach their employees despite the great odds they face.

Another area where I admire Efren the most is that despite handling and teaching money all these years, he remains to be God fearing and always remind his listeners, participants and readers about the real purpose of wealth and money – to honor God, first and foremost.

I am so proud to say that Efren is one my esteemed mentors, an ally, a colleague and a most cherished friend. Efren, is on the top of my list as Personal Finance Champion. My prayer is that the country will have more Efren Cruz. Mabuhay ka Kuya Efren!

Check out his company website.