The art of saying no to people borrowing money
By Randell Tiongson on January 30th, 2024
It’s an uncomfortable situation we’ve all faced at some point – a friend, family member, or colleague asks to borrow money. While your instinct might be to immediately agree to help, it’s essential to consider your own financial well-being and set boundaries. Learning how to gracefully say no to money borrowing requests is an important skill that will protect your finances and relationships. In this blog, we’ll explore some tips on how to properly navigate these situations without causing strain on your personal connections.

Establish Clear Financial Boundaries
Before you find yourself in a situation where someone is asking to borrow money, it’s crucial to establish clear financial boundaries for yourself. Know your financial limits and be honest with yourself about what you can afford to lend without causing hardship. Having a clear understanding of your financial situation will make it easier to say no when necessary.
Be Honest and Direct
When faced with a money borrowing request, honesty is key. Politely but firmly express your inability to lend money at the moment. You might say something like, “I appreciate your honesty in asking, but I’m currently not in a position to lend money.” Avoid making up excuses or creating false reasons, as this may lead to misunderstandings in the long run.
Use “I” Statements
When saying no, use “I” statements to convey your decision without making the other person feel attacked or judged. For example, say, “I need to prioritize my own financial commitments right now, and I’m unable to lend money,” instead of placing blame or making it about the other person.
Offer Alternatives
If you genuinely want to help but cannot provide financial assistance, offer alternative forms of support. You might say, “I can’t lend you money right now, but I’m happy to help you explore other solutions or provide emotional support during this challenging time.”
Suggest Professional Assistance
If the person asking for money is facing serious financial difficulties, encourage them to seek professional advice. This could include financial counseling, assistance from non-profit organizations, or guidance from experts who specialize in financial planning.
Learn to Say No with Kindness
It’s possible to decline a money borrowing request without damaging the relationship. Maintain a kind and understanding tone, emphasizing that your decision is based on your current circumstances rather than a lack of willingness to help. A compassionate approach will make it easier for the other person to accept your decision gracefully.
Stick to Your Decision
Once you’ve said no, it’s essential to stand firm in your decision. Avoid giving in to guilt or pressure. Remind yourself that taking care of your financial health allows you to be in a better position to help others in the future.

Learning how to say no to money borrowing requests is a crucial skill for maintaining healthy financial boundaries and preserving relationships. Remember, setting boundaries is a sign of financial responsibility and self-care.
