QUESTION: Hi Sir Randell! I’ve been reading a lot of personal finance articles about millennials. I read one that definitely hit home. It was one about the “sandwich generation” wherein Filipino adults feel sandwiched between their responsibilities to their parents and their responsibilities to their families (or the family they will have in the future). I don’t have any children yet, and I’m still single, but I’m scared and I already feel the pressure being sandwiched. My parents are the best, but unfortunately, not when it comes to money. I already give part of my income to them, and there are times I feel like they see me as their retirement plan. How can I talk to them and express my feelings that we need to do our own parts in setting ourselves up financially on our own? That I cannot fully depend on them and they cannot do the same to me? —Angel via Facebook Messenger

Hi Angel! This is definitely an interesting situation you are in, but a common one nonetheless. Compared to questions on investing and saving, I don’t get this type of question a lot. I’m sure, we see it happening around us always, and the phenomenon tends to be more obvious here in the Philippines where parents have the mind-set their children will take care of them come retirement.

This is a tricky topic to confront your parents with, but here are some steps you can use when the time finally comes that you need to approach them and talk to them:

Let them know their numbers.

If you’re contributing to household expenses, you know how much your parents spend on basic necessities monthly. You may have an idea how much their monthly expenses are.

With this, you can compute your parents’ retirement numbers. This is the amount they need to be able to retire comfortably. Crunching the numbers and showing the amount to your parents will make them realize you won’t be able to handle it on your own, not even when you and your siblings work together, because you have your own futures to prepare for.

Be transparent.

It may be that your parents also have no idea of the financial stress you’re going through contributing to their monthly budget, so it pays to be transparent. Let them know you’re having a difficult time covering even your needs.

If they’re aware of how you feel, they may ease the pressure on you and find ways to sustain themselves.

Do the saving for them.

However, if your parents are stubborn, and no amount of talking to them will make them understand, you can instead reduce your contributions and open an investment account for them. This may be especially effective if your parents do not know how to handle money properly.

When they reach retirement, they already have a retirement fund that you started years prior.

Be fully independent.

Last but not least, the only way for your parents to become truly independent from you is if you are not dependent on them. If you still live with them, then it’s just fair that you contribute to their monthly expenses, especially if your parents are still paying for the utilities.

If you don’t want to be treated as a retirement fund in the future, start by becoming fully independent from them. This could mean renting your own place and avoid asking for financial assistance unless it’s an emergency and is absolutely necessary. This way, your parents will understand they cannot depend on you (financially) because you’ve already stopped depending on them.

Money talk is always difficult, especially since this kind of talk is still taboo in Filipino culture. However, if you never initiate this type of conversation, you stand to risk your future.

When it comes to personal finance, it pays to start early. How will you start your own life if you have people who are still fully dependent on you?

By having the talk, you can make each other aware of your plans and align your next steps for the future.

Just a brotherly reminder: When discussing difficult issues with your parents, always do so with utmost love and respect. Remember, we are blessed when we honor our parents.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12, ESV

“…For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” 2 Corinthian 12:14, ESV

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children…” Proverbs 13:22, ESV

It’s a challenge – saying ‘no’. This is so very true especially when it comes to shopping. You pass by the mall, and you see the big red ‘SALE’ sign. You instantly go in, and come out with a bag or two in hand, or even when it comes to online shopping. You check a website, add a number of things into your cart, and then click the check-out button. With the ease and accessibility of shopping, it has become almost effortless to spend, and you might find yourself falling into the trap of impulse spending.

The habit of impulse spending may be hard to break, but once you learn to say ‘no’, you’ll find yourself wishing you broke the habit sooner. Today, I will share 3 tips to curb impulse spending. These tips may be easy to start yet hard to maintain, so it’s important to keep building the habit. In a study done by the University College of London, it took the 96 participants between 20 to 84 days to form their habits of choice. The number of days varied depending on the activities participants wanted to turn into habits. Eating healthier took a shorter time as compared to exercising regularly. That aside, here are three activities you can turn into habits to curb impulse spending:

1) Track your expenses

This is one of the easiest ways to curb impulse spending. You can download a tracking app on your phone, so you can record your expenses quickly and conveniently. With this, you also need to know your budget. If you find yourself close to your spending limit, this should give you the push to stop buying unnecessary things. Even more, if you add up your expenses and find that you’re spending too much on a certain category, you might start feeling guilty and start avoiding buying unnecessary things.

2) Leave your credit cards at home

Credit cards make it easier to spend. With a single swipe of your card, you can buy what you want. Even better (or worse), you can buy something for X amount as long as it’s within your credit limit. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the cash to pay. Your credit card isn’t connected to your ATM account. This can lead to a dangerous path if you cannot control your spending, so one of the easiest ways to curb impulse spending is to leave your credit cards at home and only bring enough cash to cover your transportation costs and food expenses. By leaving your cards at home and only bringing enough cash, you can’t afford to shop at the last-minute.

3) Stay focused on your goal

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you were willing to do everything to achieve that? If you have a money-related goal, such as buying a car or a house or travelling the world, staying focused on your goal will allow you to curb your impulse to spend. If you’re browsing through an ecommerce website and find a number of items you like, just remember that you have a goal to reach, and that if you end up spending, it will take you a step back from that goal.

So how do you stay focused on your goal? You can write it down and put it in a place where you’ll see it every day. You can keep reading online resources and join groups or forums to talk with like-minded individuals. This way, you’ll surround yourself with information that and people who can influence you to reach your goals.

Saying ‘no’ to impulse buying may be a challenge at first try; however, once you build the habit, you’ll find it easier to curb. Furthermore, this discipline will trickle down to other aspects of your life, from building the habit to eating healthier or exercising regularly.

Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough. (Proverbs 21:5 TEV)

Financial planning and management – it sounds like a daunting task. It’s already one thing to earn money, and it’s another to actively manage it and ensure you’re planning your finances properly.

You know that saving is important, and yet you’re always counting the days until payday because nothing’s left in your account anymore. You know that investing is a great opportunity to grow your money, and yet you keep holding it off because your salary is insufficient. You know you want to retire on a beach and drink cocktails or beer every day, and yet you haven’t started saving up for retirement – a time when you won’t be earning an income anymore.

Financial planning and management – it’s a daunting task, but everyone needs it. You might have the friend who seems like he has his finances in order. You may know of a colleague who manages to travel quarterly and yet doesn’t look like he’s starving himself to save. These people are the type to emulate; they’re financially savvy and have their finances in order.

Hoping to become one of them someday? You can start with changing your mindset and avoid making excuses. Here are 5 excuses financially savvy people never use:

I don’t know where to start

With the boom of the internet, information is more accessible at present day than it has ever been. A simple online search will give you the exact information you need. A person can spend hours on the internet each day. Why not allot a little bit of it to become productive?

The solution: Simple searches such ‘how to save my income’ or ‘what is a good investment’ are a great first step. The internet is a place that seems to have an answer for everything. Are you planning to open a bank account to stash your savings? Check the websites of different banks before going to local branches. Are you planning to apply for a mortgage to buy your first home? Use comparison websites, such as MoneyMax.ph, to learn a little more about home loans before you settle for one.

I’m busy

We all have 24 hours a day, but some people seem to get more things done than others. It’s about prioritization. When you say ‘I’m busy’, this means you’re not prioritizing that particular task.

The solution: To start, write down one financial goal you want to achieve per month. This can be tracking your expenses or saving X% of salary. After, write down specific steps you can do to achieve that goal. Now that you’ve written the steps, it’s time to prioritize them. If you want to save 10% of your salary, you would have to prioritize this over buying that artisan coffee or trying the new speakeasy bar that just opened up.

It’s difficult

Doing what is right is usually difficult to do. A specific example is buying a new pair of shoes. It’s much easier to do that to open a bank account. When you buy shoes, you have multiple payment options – cash, debit, or credit. When you open a bank account, you have to fill up and submit forms, IDS, and what have you. There’s no argument as to which one’s easier to do; however, what is easy isn’t always what’s right.

The solution: Start small so that action doesn’t seem so burdensome. Do you want to save a percentage of your salary? Why not start with saving 5% first? 5% of a Php 18,000 salary is only Php 900. Do you want to start investing? Why not read 500-word blogs about it first? The more you get the hang of a particular action, the less difficult it becomes.

I don’t have money for that yet

This is definitely one of the most common reasons why people forego financial planning and management. There’s a misconception that it takes huge amounts of many to start wealth-building.

The solution: As mentioned earlier, start small and shift your priorities. You can open an investment account with Php 5,000 or Php 10,000. The amount doesn’t matter at the start; what matters is you take the first step. Couple that with a changed mindset – prioritize saving over spending. If you put saving first before spending, you’re going to be saying, “I don’t have money to spend”. That’s much better than saying, “I don’t have money to save”.

Y.O.L.O.

You only live once. So why save for the future and live a miserable present? However, you can find a balance. YOLO doesn’t mean you quit your job, travel the world, and figure it you. Why not travel and work at the same time? You can save your vacation leaves to travel or take part-time work in whichever country you’re in.

The solution: Find the balance between fun and practical. This can be hiking during the weekend to explore the outdoors instead of spending it in the mall. This can be having a potluck dinner with friends instead of dining in a restaurant with outrageous mark-ups. The key is to find a balance. Be practical and have fun at the same time. Save for your future self without sacrificing your present self.

Financial planning and management – it’s a daunting task, but everyone needs it. Taking the first step is always the hardest, so why no start by changing your mindset, slowly but surely. Say ‘goodbye’ to the excuses above, and challenge yourself to reach your money goals. Sooner or later, you couldn’t believe the excuses you used to say in the past because you’ve already gotten used to financial planning and management that it becomes easy and automatic.

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