Ever wonder why Frank Sinatra’s song ‘My Way’ remains to be a favorite today especially amongst us Pinoys? Every sing-along joint will have that song as the most requested number; not to add the thousands of magic sing owners who would sing that song over and over again. Furthermore, books and seminars about empowerment are also big favorites and motivational talks/speakers that revolve around self actualization and self reliance is sure to be a hit. Why? Because we just love the idea that we can achieve anything we want if we so chose too.

To a great degree, I agree with that mind set but we also need to understand the limitations that we have. I am all for self-actualization and motivating oneself, but we also need to understand that we need help most of the time. Pride is a good thing but when we become blind to achieving greater heights because of it, pride becomes a liability.

Let’s look at the issue of personal finance. There are many of us who find ourselves in a position of anxiety if not despair. Despite all our effort and intentions, we find our situation stagnant if not deteriorating. Time and time again, we vow that we will try harder to put our financial condition in a better state and in the end, realize that our valiant efforts are put into waste.

Here’s a solution – get help! Often times, our misplaced pride prevents us from the benefit of being helped by others. We are ashamed to seek help because we sometimes don’t want to face the fact that we are in trouble or we may not have the capacity to solve our own problems. We really can’t keep on doing the same things and expect a different result, that’s insane – and yet that is something many of us do, this writer included.

One of the best help we can get is objectivity. In times when we are too close to the fire to see it, the objectivity of someone else can help us see the bigger picture. Financial planners are trained to look at financial situations as a whole, from the big picture approach. Well trained practitioners can help you assess your situation and offer you solutions you normally would not think of, or are too stubborn to admit.

Another big help we can get is intervention. In severe cases, we need to seek help that will result to intervention. Seeking legal help is an obvious situation but it can go beyond lawyers and financial planners. Sometimes, a temporary intervention by a well-meaning individual can do wonders until we learn how to cope up and catch up. Or, we need to be open minded enough to be rebuked by others so we can see the error of our ways.

I am a financial planner and have been a part of the financial services industry for over 2 decades. Yet, I also need help even in financial matters. I can get too absorbed in my situation that I lose perspective. Recently, I was blessed to seek help from a good friend and mentor, Mr. Cito Beltran. My wife and I asked for counsel in many aspects – career, business, family, faith, relationships and yes, even personal finance. The nature of my work (as a consultant and entrepreneur) can result to some cash flow concerns which I can be a bit hard-headed in addressing. I’m the financial planner and I should be the one giving advise right? Wrong. My objectivity with regard to my own affairs can be clouded and I needed to get help from people I know who can offer it. Cito, although not a trained financial planner, can see things from a wider perspective than I can with regard to my own situation. His experience in real life far outweighs whatever training I took through the years. I am currently refocusing and redirecting my activities because someone helped me and I thank the Lord that there are people out there who would be willing to help.

By the way, no one can help you if you don’t ask for it. Try seeking help, it might be the best thing you can do for yourself and that’s what I call wisdom.

He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. – Proverbs 28:26, NIV

** this appears in the Mar-April issue of Moneysense.

I wrote this blog about 18 months ago… nice to be reminded.

—————————–

Most people have a lot of regrets in life, albeit they may not want to admit it publicly or even to themselves. Most regrets stem from bad decisions. How often have we made bad decisions and wished we could have some sort of a “do-over”?

I have made a lot of mistakes in life that I later regretted. One thing I have learned is that getting counsel from people helps—just make sure that you chose the right counsel. As I am in the midst of a very big decision, I had a nice talk with the two best counsels I ever had, Pastors Dennis Sy and Chinkee Tan of Victory Christian Fellowship in Greenhills.

Besides giving me very wise counsel, they recommended that I read the book The Best Question Ever by Andy Stanley. I would say that had I read that book earlier in my life, I would’ve avoided making many unwise decisions that I would later regret.

What I am going to say will come as a shock to many of the readers: Most of my regrets in life are those that deal with personal finance. How can someone who claims to be a “personal finance coach and educator” have so many regrets on personal finance? Well, it is because of my many mistakes that I resolved to be one who can help people avoid the mistakes that I made and the regrets that I had to live with.

I’ll be borrowing the blogging style of my friend Raff Oca and do a list of my mistakes. Here goes:

§          Spending every peso I make: For some reasons I feltthat I needed to spend every single centavo I make; anyway, I’ll earn again. What a fool I have been.

§          Not saving early enough: If I could wind back time, I’ll set a certain percentage for saving no matter how ridiculously small it is.

§          Not buying life insurance early enough when I was much healthier and premiums were much cheaper.

§          Buying the wrong kind of life insurance.

§          Buying too many gadgets and electronic stuff; they really have no resale value.

§          Investing in the stock market when I should have avoided it and not investing in it when I should have.

§          Buying too many toys for my children; I really should have limited what I bought for them because they sometimes do not appreciate what they have and it teaches the wrong values.

§          Buying too many things on credit. Ouch!

§          Buying a piece of real estate too early, too soon.

§          Buying expensive watches and other jewelries just because it was the “in” thing to do. (Can I get anymore stupid than that?)

§          Eating too many times at too many restaurants.

§          Not starting a business earlier than I should have.

§          Changing cars too often and buying gas-guzzlers.

§          Not buying motor-car insurance; wrecked a car that had no coverage.

§          Not learning the value of giving tithes earlier (best investment there is!).

. . . and the list goes on.

While I did make a lot of mistakes in the past, I will have to say I am still blessed. Blessed? Yes, the Lord still blessed me. I may not be able to turn back time and have a do-over, but I am still blessed to realize my mistakes with enough time. . . time for me to make a life-adjusting course change, particularly in the area of personal finance.

Time remains to be one of the most valuable resources we have and it should be used properly for us to live a victorious life. In Job 14:5 (NIV), it says, “Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” With much time, much can be accomplished; with limited time, what can be accomplished is, likewise, limited.

There are many bad decisions we do in life; they do add up. I like what Andy Stanley said in his book: “Neglect has a cumulative effect.” We are where we are today because of the cumulative effect of our actions. If you are happy where you are right now, you can assume that you made more good decisions than bad ones throughout the years. However, if you are not happy with your situation today, you may have to face the fact that you have made a lot of bad decisions through the years.

I felt the desire to educate people so that those who listen can avoid the regrets I had to live with. While it is a popular cliché, experience is not really the best teacher. Make a list of things you regret; if the list is too long like mine, it’s time for you to have a self-realization and it’s also time for you to seek counsel. Sit down with people who can really help you, for, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15 NIV).

What can P400.00 do for  you nowadays? You can buy cell phone load, have Starbucks Coffee with your date, 2.5 meals at McDonalds, watch a movie with popcorn, buy a t-shirt on sale, buy a CD… or, attend a life-changing event that will finally put you in a path towards achieving Financial Peace.

Call Jenny Ignacio – Magalong at 09391177856 or send email to jcignacio.magalong@gmail.com