Here’s an article I wrote for my column at the Business Mirror a year ago, just thought of sharing this once more.

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Confession of a Financial Planner

MY wife Mia and I went on a date last night. Since my wife loves to watch movies and since the secret to a happy life is a happy wife, I instinctively knew she would prefer watching a movie.

I thought she would prefer watching the John Lloyd Cruz-Sarah Geronimo movie so I was trying to psyche myself to watching it, but I was so delighted to find out she wanted to watch something else. My wife knew I’m not a big fan of those movies so she wanted to watch something else for my sake. That’s one of the many reasons I love my wife so much—so unselfish! Not wanting to be a total jerk by asking her to watch an action movie, I suggested to meet half-way. As a result, we ended up watching the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. I was actually intrigued by it because my daughter Gabbie said it was a great movie while another daughter Billie liked the book.

How was the movie? It was awesome! In fact, I urge everyone reading this to watch the movie. Watching it is like attending a financial-literacy seminar, only more amusing, more relevant and actually more effective.

The plot revolves around a character named Rebecca Bloomwood (brilliantly portrayed by Isla Fisher) who has an exaggerated spending problem and ends up being a columnist for a personal-finance magazine. The main character represented many of us, albeit in a humorously exaggerated way. We live in a society that is afflicted with a debilitating disease called “consumerism.” This burden has manifested itself in a “spending problem,” resulting in many of us  living a debt-ridden life—a life that robs us of true freedom and of victory.

As a financial planner myself, I was endeared with the character in the movie. Her column gives out a lot of practical and great personal advice and has a lot of followers, despite her financial life being in complete havoc. Well, I wouldn’t say I’m exactly like Ms. Bloomwood in the sense that I don’t really have a shopping addiction, and I’m not too sure if I do have many followers. While my financial life is not in havoc, it is far from being ideal.

Many times, I find myself “preaching” to myself whenever I write or speak. It’s not very wise for someone like me to say that I don’t have an “ideal” financial life, but I want people to know that I, too, experience the difficulties of putting my financial life in order. I went through a lot of mistakes that I have been trying to rectify. I was also afflicted with a spending problem that nearly left me in ruins. I made so much mistakes I later on regretted, which I wrote about in this column many months ago. But I learned from those mistakes and I am in a very long process of rectification. What is crucial is the realization of one’s problems and the resolution to learn from them, and have a lasting solution for them.

I do not only write or speak from a theoretical point of view. I am writing from painful personal experiences. We can’t “undo” many things we have done, but it doesn’t matter anymore as what’s done is done. Like anything in our lives, we must learn to stand when we fall. In doing so, we become more resilient, stronger and, most important, wiser.

Here’s a wise advice: To really fix a problem, go to the source of the problem. When I found myself with a financial burden, I tried many ways to “fix” it but I noticed that while some of those remedies worked, most of them did not permanently solve the problem. Like the many “solutions” we try, I found myself applying mostly short-term or “Band-Aid” solutions.

If we have a financial problem or a spending problem, we should determine the root cause of the problem. Is it the lack of income or the way we spend? Why do we spend the way we spend? In my case, I got into a financial mess because I had a “want” issue: I wanted this, I wanted that. It wasn’t just with me, it was with my family, too. But it was a “want” problem nonetheless.

Over the years, my “wants” became bigger and bigger and I found myself doing everything just so I can satisfy my “wants.” It didn’t really feel wrong at that time. In fact, some people might even say that it helped motivate me to work harder and harder. In retrospect, I now know it was very foolish of me not to have stopped my insatiable desire to want more and more. I am glad  I came into my senses and was able to curb my “want” issues. I guess those desires are still there as I am only human, but I have developed a strong willpower to overcome them.

How was I able to overcome my weaknesses? Simple. I merely reexamined what is really important in my life. Do I want to impress others because of what I have, or do I want others pleased with me because of my character? Do I want to please my family with a life that I can hardly afford and, as a result, become a preoccupied husband or father? Or do I want my family to be pleased with me because I am a real and approachable head of the family for them, always there when they need me? Do I want people to listen to me because of what I have accomplished, or do I want people to have hope that they can have a good future by learning from the mistakes that I chose not to hide?

In the end, I chose what really was more important. I chose to have a meaningful relationship with what really is important in my life—my family and my savior, Jesus Christ. In doing so, I found a permanent solution to my deeply rooted “want” problems—the cause of my financial fall.

I fell down, I stood up, but I know I’ll fall down again—all these happen because God is molding something that is very important in me: my character. “…But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”—Romans 5:3-4 (NIV). Our character will determine our future, even our financial future.

This is my confession.

This appeared in my column at the Business Mirror in 2009

A few days ago, I was walking along Orchard Road in Singapore. I was marveling at how the huge department stores on that famous road were adorned with Christmas decorations. In fact, every store in Singapore was well-decorated: Orchard, Raffles, Bugis—all the commercial areas were intricately decorated for the holidays and were all beautiful.

In a few days I’ll be off to Hong Kong. I am pretty sure that like Singapore, Hong Kong will be just as beautifully decorated for Christmas, and by this time, it will be bustling with a lot of shoppers.

Christmas was originally a Christian holiday, commemorating the birth of our Savior, yet Singapore and Hong Kong are not predominantly Christian societies. Christmas has become a holiday everyone celebrates, regardless of religious affiliation.

While walking through the shopping areas at this time of the year can be a visual treat, the density of the shoppers can be an unpleasant encounter. Sifting through department stores, boutiques and all that trying to find the right gift for your loved ones can be challenging, especially for men like me. Don’t forget the many Christmas dinners you either host or attend.

What’s more maddening for me is the price tag this holiday carries. I am sure there are many out there who have no idea how much they spend during the holidays—and this is a perpetual issue year after year. Many times, we find that we overspent for the holidays again and vow to be more prudent the next year around.

Giving gifts to people you care about is a great gesture; kindness in any form is good, in my opinion. However, one must be mindful of the cost. Does this spending hurt the budget?

Worse, do you get in debt just to celebrate Christmas? What’s the real cost of all these? Why has rabid commercialism taken over such a holy celebration? Isn’t Christmas about Christ? Do we not celebrate this season to pay homage to the birth of our Savior who gave His life so we can be saved? What’s the connection between how we celebrate Christmas with our salvation through Christ? Jesus was born with utmost humility, in a manger.

I’m not trying to be a spoilsport; I love Christmas—giving and receiving gifts, attending parties and all that. But let us always remember the true essence of Christmas—that it is about Christ, not Santa.  If we can really understand “real Christmas,” we would not need to be financially strained during the holidays.  We can’t outgive the Lord because He has already given us the best gift we can ever receive; something we just need to take—Jesus Christ. Jesus is truly the reason for the season and we need to be reminded as such year after year.

Merry Christmas to all!

“The virgin will be with Child and will give birth to a Son, and they will call him ‘Immanuel’—which means, ‘God with us.’”
—Matthew 1:23, NIV

Do you sometimes wonder if what you do really makes a difference?

I’ve been an advocate of financial planning for almost a decade now and there are times that I ask myself if I’m really making a difference in this advocacy. From establishing a yahoogroup to the Registered Financial Planner Institute, from www.income-tacts.com to this blog … from one speaking engagement to another… and and articles, columns and blogs — I sometimes ask if I’m making some dent at all.

.. then you get encouraging messages from people, making things all worth it and inspires you to continue. Here’s a nice Facebook message I got recently, I couldn’t remember the guy but I’m sure our paths have crossed before:

greetings mr Tiongson

i’m friends with Mervin back during my days with AXA

i’ve read much about you and you inspired me to explore a career in Financial planning when i moved to Canada

just wanna drop in a note to tell you that

keep up what you’re doing for the Philippine society

it’s a good country sans the government. you’re definitely doing your part to make it a great place to live.