I have often been asked the question: “who should handle the finances of the family?.” Is it the husband or is it the wife? The ‘politically-correct’ answer is ‘it depends’. You will hear many people; even so-called experts say that the handling of the money should be done by the spouse who is better at it. Our Filipino culture has actually been leaning towards the wife in the handling of the family finances. I grew up in such an arrangement where my late Mom handled the family finances; my late Lola also handled their finances and these two ladies were really good at such. So what am I writing about? There is a difference between handling the finances and controlling them. I am not trying to espouse chauvinism but my stand is the men should lead the control of the finances. Handling is largely about management, setting budgets, expending, balancing the check book and the like – this can be seen as a tactical directive. Control on the other hand is more on determining … Read complete blog at Act Like a Man

Recently, we were reminded that we need to instill stricter discipline in the area of savings for our children. In a recent business trip in Hong Kong, my wife chanced upon some nice piggy banks and she bought 2 to be brought back home. I was under the impression that my wife bought it for our young children but I was surprised when she told me that it was for us, not for the boys. She reminded me that our children must see us being faithful in filling up the piggy banks so that they too will follow suit. I thought that I was doing a good job in reminding my small children to save but apparently I was wrong. When my boys saw that their mom were faithfully adding coins and bills in or piggy bank, they became more conscious in adding to theirs. I saw my young boys more passionate in filling up their piggy banks now, more than ever. To my surprise, I also saw my 2 teen-aged daughters start their own piggy banks a few days ago. While we always remind them to start their storehouses earlier, we sometimes feel that it falls on deaf ears. My daughters’ participation to the Blue Chip, a financial literacy program for the youth also encouraged them – a program we suggested they attend. If we see that our children learn how to save, we can be confident that they will have a bright future ahead of them.

Why are so many of us finding ourselves wanting? Why is it that we find ourselves trapped in life’s maze? Why are so many of us lost? This is true not just in the psychological aspect; it is also true for our financial situation, as well. Why are we always lacking? Why are we buried in debt? Why are we unsure of the future? These are common questions we often wonder about, me included.

Here’s a thought: If we were guided and taught properly as children, would we become better adults? What if someone instructed us patiently in the area of money management in our youth, would our financial standing be better today? What if we were raised as a disciple of Christ in our formative years, would we have avoided a lot of the mistakes we foolishly found ourselves into? I don’t know about the others, but I can definitely answer YES!

We need to be deliberate in teaching the next generation—help mold values that will be critical for their future. How? Teach them, remind them and let them experience the learning by assimilating how we live our lives.

“Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation.”— Joel 1:3, NIV.

… conclusion

Obviously, the 3^rd major mother who influenced me and continues to influence me is the mother of my children. My partner, my best-friend and my wife:  Maria Mia Mapa – Tiongson. I met my wife when we were both very young (college) but I was attracted to her character more than I was with her incredible beauty. I saw many things I liked about my mom in her and they were similar in many ways, a gentle frame housing an incredibly passionate spirit. She was also like my grandmother in the sense that she was very entrepreneurial and very steadfast in making our common goals a reality. She was like my mom and my grandmother and more. She always had great ideas about what to do and would not be afraid to thread difficult paths if she so believes in it.

I was pushed into being an entrepreneur at a very young age because of Mia. When boyfriends and girlfriends would talk about dates, outings gimmicks, Mia and I was talking about business opportunities. Marriage did not dampen the fiery spirit of my wife, she was even more passionate because she was now doing things for her family. Mia was always sensible in many things, especially in financial matters. While many will look at me as the financial coach I profess to be, the real expert is not me but my wife. My endeavors brought peaks and valleys to my family and in most cases, it is the efforts of my wife that smoothen the bumpy road I take them into. All the mistakes I made in my adult life were because I did not listen to my wife or I did not get her counsel. My wife can put an accountant to shame when it comes to tracking and recording money and like her mother and my grandmother, she also did not take up any business course in college (she is a licensed interior designer).

My wife successfully established two business ventures already and for over a decade, a multi-awarded insurance professional and financial adviser. She juggled successful careers while running the household and putting up with an idiot like me. Although she is also a Registered Financial Planner like me, Mia’s approach to finances is practical, sensible and devoid of ridiculous theories that only complicates matters. My wife is also great in transitioning from careers and her biggest transition is to stay more at home now, schooling our boys (home schooling), watching a close eye on my teenagers, balancing the little money I manage to get while putting up with an egghead like me. Although she is in transition, I can guarantee that Mia will come out with bigger ventures and like her past endeavors; she will stamp it with her seal of excellence — while I still continue to be an egghead and an idiot. My wife is a great in many things and I love her not only because she is extremely beautiful, not only because she is a terrific mother, not only because she is a great partner, not only because of her innate sensibility, not only because she makes me feel loved day in and day out (even on days I don’t deserve it)… I love her so much because she loves Jesus more than she loves me and her kids. She is more than the light of my home, she is the heart that pieces us together and I feel the love of God because I see her love for God.

My wife, mother and grandmother are incredible women of character and of love but more so, they are incredible women of faith and have dedicated their lives not only for their families but more so, to God. These women though they can stand on their own and gleam with pride because of what they can do chose to be in the shadows of her husband and never took the limelight away for themselves even if they so deserve. These incredible mothers not only influenced me and many others, they molded us in many ways – allowing us to be great at what we do at the expense of their self. No award, gift, reward or blog can give them the honor they deserve – it is the way we live our lives that will truly bring honor our mothers.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:10-12, NIV