For the last 3 weeks, our church (Victory Green Hills) ran a series on manhood. It has been eye opener to many of us who have been attending the services and a more focused big group discussion for the last 3 weeks.

Today’s perception on what a real man is so obscure because of culture and media. When you talk about a real man, one would think of a typical half naked and unbelievably buffed model you see in EDSA billboards (are they really men to start with, me thinks). To others, the picture of a real man is one who is fierce, stoic, can take in a lot of alcohol and ready to jump into a brawl. Whether the image of a real man is one who has sculpted abs or a beer belly, our society has a twisted image of what a man should be and for us men, we seem to be clueless on how we should act, think and behave.

In a radio show I co-hosted (as a fill-in), we had a guest who had an incredible story. He is your classic rags to riches story and against allodds, even on the brink of death, our guest survived, thrived and became very successful. He seems to be a nice person, kind, generous and willing to share his knowledge and even his wealth to better the lives of those around him. He truly is an admirable fellow and it was really a pleasure conversing with him. No person, no matter what he has achieved is perfect. This nice guest of ours has an incredible story, besides his rise to success. He is a father of 14 children with 14 different women. While many were amazed at his life story, more were impressed upon his virility and people started to call him ‘idol’. While I do not judge our guest, I am saddened that many will find his ‘adventurous romantic episodes’ as something to be admired and worse, emulated. Well, I guess it’s ‘to each his own’, I suppose.

If society has conflicting views and many of us have settled for less than what a man ought to be, the last 3 weeks have made me realize that God expects his men to be more than what society can ever define. Here are 3 critical learning on the role of real men I picked up from our Pastor Dennis Sy:

1) Provider: lead financially. While there is nothing wrong with women working and helping their family financially, the role of the man of the house is to provide for the needs of his loved ones. Man should go out and work for a living and provide a comfortable life for his family as best as he can. Providing doesn’t mean that men should give his family an ostentatious lifestyle that will make him a slave to work and be an absentee father as a result. Having a stable home and providing for such a home will always be the responsibility of the men. It is sad to see many women work hard and their husbands are left at home. Call it the modern family and call me old-fashioned but I believe there should not be reversal of roles in this case. I wrote about my thoughts on this in an earlier blog.

2) Warrior: lead physically and emotionally. In the family, the man is the head of the family and he should act as such. There is a reason that the men were created to be sturdier, stronger and maybe even less emotional as the women. Men should not abdicate his role as the leader and hold the family together. Being a warrior does not mean he canbe insensitive and push his weight around, that’s a sign of weakness. A real man would know when he should acknowledge the wisdom of his wife, accept his limitations and yet stand firm for his decisions. I don’t think women would like their men to be a push-over, indecisive or cannot take his responsibilities seriously.

3) Pastor: lead spiritually. While our faith in the Lord is an individual concern, the real man should act as the spiritual head of the family. As a husband and a father, the Lord has bestowed upon me the spiritual covering for my family. It is imminent for us men to pray for our loved ones regularly and with intensity. Our faith in the Lord is something our children can emulate, not from lengthy sermons but from what they actually see in us. I once had a friend who got concerned that his young children decided not to go to church; I gently reminded him his children only copies what they see from him and since he is infrequent in going to the church, they started to think they shouldn’t as well. The good news is my friend started going back to church regularly and is now walking with Christ. Our children read their bibles not so much because we tell them so, but more so because they see us read, especially me.  Filipina women have traditionally been more pious but let me tell you that when the men exhibit a close relationship with the Lord, it is a totally different ball game. As the spiritual head, we can actually intercede for our loved ones and I am certain the good Lord listens to all our prayers.

Further, and more importantly, the real man submits to the real authority. He submits to the authority of Jesus Christ who is the real master of his life.

Whew, writing this blog has overwhelmed me if I am to be totally honest. The burdens of being a man, and a godly man at that, is not easy task nor for the faint hearted. However, it is also only by the grace of God can we do all these. Apart from Him, I can’t really do much. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13, NLT

Be a man according to culture or society? Or be a real man in the image and likeness of the Lord? The choice is ours to make.

To learn more on being a real man, check out Act Like a Man

I’m going to be a bit off in the theme of my blog site for this entry. I felt the need to write this which is something that is very personal to me. Anyway, my blog site is about Life and Personal Finance right? Allow me write about Life this time around.

I just came from a prayer meeting from my church at Victory Green Hills. We are on our 2^nd day of our annual prayer & fasting week. Fasting has always been one of those activities that I get anxious about because it really challenges my discipline and yet at the same time it is a time I experience a lot of breakthroughs.

Our prayer meetings have themes and tonight, the theme was about the youth. I was having second thoughts of attending tonight’s meeting since I am still ‘woozy’ from fasting, a bit dizzy and tired. My teen-aged daughters prevailed upon me since one of their close friends was to give a testimony. It was encouraging to see that our church is really reaching out and preparing the next generation by engaging them and discipling them. As a father, I am always concerned about the future of my children and I will do anything that I can to provide a good future for them. However, I must always realize the limitations of what I can do. No matter what we do, what lies for the future of our children is really beyond our control – regardless of how we think it can be so. The best thing we can really do is to teach them, train them, guide them and show them and provide an environment for them to experience what their true purpose is in life is.

During the prayer meeting, I listened to the testimony of a senior year high school student from Ateneo, Avram Francisco. He recalled how he had many of the usual issues of a typical teenager which revolves around self-centeredness, as many of us are. Through engagement by his relatives, Avram eventually got to know Christ and surrendered his life to Him. Story didn’t really turned out too great when he gave his life to Christ since he still had to deal with some more issues which he has not surrendered, as he narrated in his testimony. It took another encounter for him to realize what it really meant to be a disciple of Jesus and his life has never been the same twice. Avram now leads other students to Christ and has been passionate about the calling God impressed upon him – to live for others and to bring them to Christ. It is not only the teen aged youth he is leading, he also patiently leads a group of young boys – teaching them about Jesus and being a good Kuya to the kids. Avram’s story is merely the beginning and if he continues to put Christ in the center of his life, I am confident that many things are in store for this guy and I may just write about him again. Avram was also inspired into discipleship by a preaching of our Pastor Dennis Sy during their youth camp last summer. Our Pastor used the scripture from Jude 1:23 (NIV): “save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.”

This experience made me look back on my youth, on how lost and misguided I was. It took decades for me to finally knock some sense into my hard head and realize my true purpose in life: that of worship of the Lord. I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had a friend like the many youth I see at our church – engaging their friends and getting them to have a personal relationship with Christ.  I am pretty sure my life would have less of the many wrong decisions I made. But God has his ways and his will is always perfect; I have stopped questioning his ways and his timing so I am just assuming that it was God’s plan for me to get to know Him when I was 40 instead of 14 or so.

My wife and I are always thankful to the Lord that our children has also become disciples of Christ, otherwise I would probably already have a heart problem from worrying what they are up to all the time, haha!

We really need to get them young, help them get to know Christ at the earliest time possible. That’s the best thing we can do for the next generation.

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. – Psalm 34:11, NIV

*photo by Larry Uy

As a trainer, writer, speaker, consultant… and whatever it is that I do, I need a lot of input. If i would be a good communicator, I must also get a lot of information and data all the time. There is a need for me to read, and to read a lot.

While I still enjoy reading, I have a huge waiting line in my reading list and I have been trying to find more and more time to read. Since I take a lot of long trips, the travel time would have been a great time to catch on my reading right? However, I am unable to do so because I have some motion sickness… Fail!

The next best thing? Podcasts. I’ve been subscribing to some podcasts and they are very convenient for an information junkie like me. So what’s in my podcast subscription list right now?

1) Ravi Zacharias: Ravi and his team are my favorite Christian Apologetics and they have 2 programs over at iTunes — Just Thinking and Let My People Think. Listening to Ravi and his team’s podcasts is an absolute must for me… this is nourishment for my spirit and my brain as well. If you doubt your faith and if you doubt God, listen to Ravi Zacharias!

2) The Dave Ramsey Show: I try to catch Dave’s radio podcasts and his podcasts are always updated over at iTunes. I get a lot of practical personal finance knowledge from Dave Ramsey, I just love his no nonsense approach to money. I must admit though that I haven’t been listening to Dave’s show as much of late. Looks like I need to do so again.

I’ve also recently subscribed to the podcasts of Seth Godin and the The Economist. Seth Godin was introduced to me by my good friend Carlo Ople and my pastor Dennis Sy. The Economist was a magazine/journal I used to read a lot before, good thing they now have podcasts.

While reading books/journals are still best, podcasts may be the next best thing.

However, there’s still one book that I must read everyday and no technology can be a good substitute for me, the Bible.

ps – I still like to read books by the way, I just need to find time to do so. Will share my reading list soon.