My wife and I have had the honor of being ninong and ninang to more couples than we can count. It’s a role we take seriously—not just as a ceremonial presence on the wedding day, but as fellow travelers in the long journey of marriage. We make time to sit down with our inaanaks, both before and after their big day, to share lessons, listen to their dreams, and offer guidance as they start their life together.

But if we’re being honest, many marriages today are struggling. Annulments are rising in the Philippines, and society is slowly normalizing broken covenants. What once began with love, promise, and joy can—over time—end in silence, bitterness, and separation. So, the question is: how do two people who loved each other deeply end up walking away? How did “till death do us part” become such a cliché?

I’ve heard many speakers say that money is the number one reason marriages fall apart, citing a 4:1 ratio. But let’s clarify that: while money is a major factor, there’s no credible data supporting that exact figure. Still, there’s no denying that money—alongside poor communication, unmet expectations, infidelity, emotional disconnect, and lack of spiritual foundation—is a common source of conflict.

I’m not a marriage expert. Just ask my wife! She’ll tell you I still have a lot to learn. But after over three decades of being together, I can say this: by God’s grace, we’re still standing. We’ve faced our share of challenges, especially financial ones. We’ve made mistakes, argued about money, made tough decisions, and by God’s mercy, we’ve grown through those moments.

Here are some principles we’ve learned—through both wins and wounds:

1. Marriage is for a mission.

Marriage isn’t just about companionship. It’s about calling. God brings two people together not just for romance, but for purpose. Genesis 1:28 tells us that man and woman were created to “be fruitful, multiply, and have dominion.” That’s not just about having kids—it’s about stewarding life, resources, and legacy together.

Your marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love to the world and to advance His Kingdom. You’re not just partners in love—you’re partners in mission.

2. Be rooted in a local church and godly community.

Don’t walk alone. Every marriage needs support, guidance, correction, and encouragement. Be part of a local church that preaches God’s Word, where older couples can mentor you and younger couples can walk with you. Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us to “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together… but encouraging one another.”

God often speaks to us through community. A godly church family is essential—not optional.

3. Be financially transparent.

Marriage means oneness—and that includes your finances. Secrets around income, spending, or debt will always breed mistrust. Ephesians 4:25 says, “Let each one of you speak the truth… for we are members one of another.” Transparency isn’t just honesty—it’s love.

4. Communicate and align expectations.

Many arguments stem not from lack of money, but from lack of communication. If one assumes there’s enough and the other knows the limits, disappointment is inevitable. Amos 3:3 says, “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?” Talk about goals, dreams, and realities.

5. Budget together.

Money management is a shared responsibility. Don’t let one spouse carry the full burden. Sit down, create a budget, agree on priorities, and stick to it. Proverbs 21:5 tells us, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” If both of you are involved, both of you grow. Budgeting is a great conjugal exercise!

6. Plan for the future.

Start with an emergency fund. Save and invest wisely. Talk about major expenses. Get life insurance. Prepare for retirement. Don’t live only for today—plan for the decades ahead. Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

7. Avoid unwise debt

Not all debt is bad, but all debt must be discussed, prayed for, and agreed upon. Whether it’s a home loan or a business loan, agree and get godly counsel. Proverbs 22:7 warns, “The borrower is the slave of the lender.” Don’t let financial stress become emotional strain.

8. Practice stewardship, not ownership.

Everything we have is God’s. We’re just stewards. This mindset helps couples stay humble, grateful, and aligned with God’s priorities. 1 Peter 4:10 reminds us: “Use [your gifts] to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”

9. Learn from wise, godly couples.

Find mentors—couples who’ve been through real struggles and have remained faithful. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

10. Keep Christ at the center.

At the end of the day, the key to a strong marriage isn’t money, skill, or compatibility—it’s Christ. He is the glue. He is the anchor. A threefold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Psalm 127:1 puts it best:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”

Let the Lord build your marriage. Let Him lead your finances. Let Him write your story.

Marriage is not a fairy tale. It’s a covenant. It’s a calling. And it’s one of the most beautiful expressions of the gospel this world can see—when done God’s way.