One of the deepest problems of the human heart is hubris*. It is not just arrogance, it is not just pride, it is the subtle but dangerous belief that I can sit on the throne of my own life and still have peace.

For the longest time, I did not think I had an ego problem. In fact, I was quite good at hiding it. I could make it appear that I was humble, reasonable, teachable, and even spiritual. I knew how to say the right things, I knew how to act the right way, I knew how to manage the optics.

But the truth is, beneath the appearance, my ego was very much alive. To be honest, my ego has been one of my biggest issues during my younger years, and even my not so young years. It has affected the way I thought, the way I reacted, the way I handled correction, the way I dealt with people, the way I pursued success, and the way I tried to prove myself. Ego makes us defensive when we should be repentant, it makes us compete when we should celebrate others, it makes us protect our image when we should pursue truth and it makes us crave control when we should surrender.

No wonder real peace becomes so elusive, because peace cannot grow in a heart where the ego still demands to be worshiped.

It was only when I gave my life to Jesus almost two decades ago that I began to truly accept this painful reality: my ego was not a small issue and it was one of the reasons for many of the problems in my life. Jesus did not merely expose my sin, He exposed my throne.

I realized that many times, the real battle was not just between right and wrong. It was between self and surrender, it was between my kingdom and God’s kingdom, it was between protecting my pride and following my King.

The Bible says,

“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’”
Luke 9:23, ESV

That verse is both comforting and confronting. Jesus did not say, “Improve yourself,” He said, “Deny yourself.” He did not say, “Manage your ego,” He said, “Take up your cross.” He did not invite us to simply add Him to our lives, He calls us to follow Him as Lord… and that means the self must die.

Walking with the Lord is the only real way to deal with our ego issues. We cannot simply outgrow pride, we cannot merely educate it away, we cannot hide it behind success, ministry, generosity, good manners, or religious language. The ego must be brought to the cross.

And this is not a one-time event. It is daily.

Daily, I must surrender my need to be right.
Daily, I must surrender my need to be admired.
Daily, I must surrender my need to control outcomes.
Daily, I must surrender my need to be seen, praised, validated, and vindicated.

This is hard, but it is also freeing. The more we die to self, the more we become truly alive in Christ.

Dealing with the ego may be one of the best things we can ever do for our life, relationships, work, faith, leadership, marriage, family, and ministry. A surrendered heart listens better, a humble person loves better, and a person under the Lordship of Christ leads better, serves better, forgives better, and lives with greater peace.

The problem is, deep in our hearts, many of us still want to be king. We may not say it that way, but we live that way. We want our will to be done, we want our name to be known, we want our image to be protected, we want our comfort to be preserved, we want our plans to prevail.

But there is no peace when the wrong person sits on the throne. So the call is clear: we must dethrone our ego so we can enthrone Jesus.

There is no other way. Not because Jesus wants to diminish us, but because He alone can truly restore us. The ego promises freedom but produces bondage, Jesus calls us to surrender and gives us life. The ego demands that we prove ourselves, Jesus reminds us that we are already loved. The ego keeps us restless, Jesus gives us peace.

Hubris says, “I am enough.” The gospel says, “Christ is enough.” And when Christ is truly enough, I no longer have to pretend, perform, compete, or protect my image. I can repent, I can rest, I can be corrected, I can forgive. I can serve without needing applause. I can lead without needing to be the hero. I can love without making everything about me.

That is the beauty of the gospel. Jesus does not merely save us from hell, He saves us from ourselves. One of the greatest evidences of grace is when a proud heart slowly becomes a surrendered heart.

I still struggle with my ego, I probably always will on this side of eternity. But by God’s grace, I no longer have to hide it, excuse it, or be ruled by it. I can bring it to Jesus. I can confess it, I can surrender it and I can take up my cross daily and follow Him.

Real peace does not come when my ego is satisfied. Real peace comes when Jesus is Lord.

*Hubris refers to extreme pride, arrogance, or overconfidence. It frequently causes individuals to disregard warnings, overestimate their abilities, and act as though they are invincible. Consequently, this overconfidence typically leads to their downfall or failure.

I have been thinking a lot about why many marriages are breaking apart today. Annulments seem to be increasing in the Philippines, and what used to carry a heavy stigma has now become more socially accepted.

But the question still remains: why do marriages end?

How can two people who once loved each other deeply end up resenting, avoiding, or even hating each other? How did “till death do us part” become something many people say at the altar but no longer seriously fight for when life becomes difficult?

I think one major reason is that we now live in a very individualistic age. Everything around us tells us to pursue our own happiness, protect our own peace, follow our own dreams, and insist on our own rights. Those things may sound harmless, but when brought into marriage without wisdom, humility, and surrender to God, they can become very dangerous.

Marriage was never designed by God to be two individuals merely sharing a house, expenses, and children while still pursuing separate kingdoms. Marriage is a covenant, it is a union and it is two becoming one. God’s plan for marriage is not merely companionship, convenience, or romance… it is a sacred partnership where husband and wife learn to love, serve, forgive, submit, sacrifice, build, and reflect something of Christ’s love for His people.

I firmly believe that marriage cannot survive on feelings alone. Feelings change, circumstances change, income changes, health changes, priorities change. But, covenant must be stronger than convenience.

I have heard many speakers, counselors, and even preachers say that money is the number one cause of separation by a factor of 4:1. While money is definitely a major concern in many breakups, there is very little factual data to support that specific claim. Many studies would put money among the leading causes of marital conflict, along with communication problems, infidelity, wrong expectations, intimacy issues, and lack of commitment, but not necessarily number one, and certainly not by a factor of 4:1. Sorry to burst the bubble of some speakers, counselors, and preachers, but we really need to double-check our facts before repeating popular claims.

Still, while money may not always be the leading cause, it is definitely one of the biggest pressure points in marriage. Money has a way of exposing the true condition of the heart. It reveals our fears, priorities, insecurities, desires, habits, and even our view of God.

I am not a marriage expert, and I have no problem admitting that I can still be clueless when it comes to keeping a “perfect” marriage. Just ask my wife! But after three and a half decades of being together, my wife and I have survived many challenges, and many of those challenges had financial dimensions. By God’s grace, we are still here, still learning, still growing, and still believing that God is faithful.

Here are some suggestions married couples can consider when it comes to finances in marriage.

1. Communicate and be transparent.

I find it disturbing that many married couples are not aware of each other’s financial situation. Some do not know how much the other earns. Some do not know how much debt they have, some hide purchases, some hide loans and some even maintain completely separate financial lives while wondering why trust is slowly eroding.

Even the law recognizes that marriage brings union, including finances. Unless there is a valid prenuptial agreement, marriage generally brings with it shared responsibility and shared ownership. But more than the legal side, there is a spiritual and relational issue. How can two become one when major parts of their lives are hidden from each other?

Income, expenses, debt, assets, obligations, and financial goals must be discussed honestly. Many conflicts come from false assumptions. A wife may be hoping for a better family lifestyle, assuming her husband’s income can sustain it, only to later discover that it cannot. A husband may be making plans, unaware of financial pressures his wife has been carrying quietly. Transparency helps manage expectations and builds trust.

Marriage requires truth. Without truth, there can be no real unity.

2. Plan together.

My wife and I often remind married coupls that budgeting should be a conjugal exercise. It should not be one spouse controlling everything while the other remains clueless, nor should it be two people spending independently without a shared direction.

A couple should sit down and talk about income, expenses, savings, giving, debt payments, family needs, and long-term goals. They should agree on priorities and decide together how limited resources will be used.

Once a budget is set, both husband and wife must respect it. Of course, there should be flexibility because life happens, but flexibility is different from irresponsibility. A budget is not meant to imprison a couple. It is meant to bring order, peace, and stewardship.

Planning together is not just a financial discipline, it is an act of unity.

3. Practice family financial planning.

Marriage is not just about surviving the next payday. Couples must learn to think long-term.

Build an emergency fund, save and invest for the future, get adequate life insurance, especially if people depend on your income., prepare for retirement. Further, avoid being buried in consumer debt, if you need to take a major loan, such as a home loan, talk about it seriously, pray about it, and seek wise counsel.

Many couples fight about money because they only react to financial problems when they are already in crisis. Wisdom prepares before the crisis comes.

Financial planning is not a lack of faith. It is part of faithful stewardship.

4. Practice stewardship.

At the heart of many financial conflicts is a failure to understand stewardship. When husband and wife both believe that everything they have ultimately belongs to the Lord, it changes the way they handle money.

Money is no longer just “my income” or “your income.” It becomes God’s provision entrusted to the family. The question is no longer simply, “What do I want?” but “Lord, how do You want us to manage what You have entrusted to us?”

My wife Mia would often say that we are married for a mission. I love that because it reminds us that marriage is not merely about building comfort, accumulating assets, or pursuing our own dreams. Marriage is about serving God’s purposes together. Our finances, therefore, must also serve the mission God has entrusted to us as husband and wife.

Stewardship brings accountability. We become accountable to each other and, more importantly, accountable to God.

This is especially important in our individualistic culture. The world says, “My money, my rules.” But biblical marriage says, “God’s resources, God’s purposes, shared responsibility, and a shared mission.”

5. Learn from other couples.

This is not just about money management, this is about marriage itself.

Find mentors, learn from couples who have walked ahead of you. Choose those who are godly and with a good track record, not merely those who speak well or appear successful from the outside. You do not need to learn everything by painful experience. Marriage is too important to experiment with recklessly.

Wise couples ask for help before things fall apart. Proud couples usually wait until the damage is already deep. There is no shame in seeking counsel. In fact, it is often a sign of humility and wisdom.

And here is my most cherished reminder for married couples: keep the Lord at the center of your marriage.

A marriage centered on self will eventually become exhausting. A marriage centered on money will become anxious. A marriage centered on romance alone will become fragile. But a marriage centered on Christ has a foundation stronger than emotions, seasons, and circumstances.

God’s design for marriage is beautiful, but it requires surrender. It requires dying to self. It requires choosing covenant over convenience, service over selfishness, forgiveness over pride, and unity over individualism.

Marriage is not easy. But by God’s grace, it can be good, it can be fruitful, it can be a testimony and it can become a small picture of God’s covenant love in a world that desperately needs to see faithful love again.

“If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.”

Job 36:11, NIV

One of the most powerful truths we need to recover in the church today is this: every person who belongs to Christ is a priest.

The apostle Peter writes, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession” (1 Peter 2:9, ESV). This is not just a beautiful description of our identity. It is also a clear declaration of our calling. We are not merely saved individuals waiting for heaven, we are God’s covenant people, called to live under the rule and reign of Jesus and to represent His kingdom here on earth.

Because of Jesus, we now have access to God… we no longer approach Him from a distance. We do not come before Him because of our merit, our religious performance, or our spiritual resume. We come because Christ has opened the way. Through His life, death, resurrection, and ascension, we have been brought near to God.

But priesthood is not only about access, it is also about responsibility.

Every believer has been called to minister before God and to minister on behalf of God. Ministry is not only for pastors, preachers, missionaries, or full-time church workers. Ministry belongs to the whole people of God. Every member of the local church has been included in the ministry of God and in the mission of His kingdom.

This means that our work, our families, our conversations, our generosity, our service, our prayers, and even the ordinary things we do in the name of Jesus become part of our priestly calling. When done by faith and through the power of the Holy Spirit, even simple acts of obedience become sacred acts of ministry. They become signs that another King is reigning and another kingdom is breaking into the world.

We must be careful not to reduce Christianity to attending services, listening to sermons, serving in the church, or joining a small group. Those things are important, but they are not the fullness of our calling. We are not spectators in the kingdom of God, we are witnesses, servants, ambassadors, and priests.

Every act done in the name of Jesus carries weight. Every prayer offered in faith matters, every word of encouragement, every act of mercy, every stand for truth, every effort to reconcile, every moment of generosity, and every faithful witness becomes a way by which the authority of God is exercised in the world.

This authority is not the authority of control, arrogance, or self-promotion. It is delegated authority under the rule and reign of Christ. It is authority expressed through service, love, truth, humility, courage, and faithfulness. It is authority that reflects the heart of our King.

This is kingdom stewardship. God has entrusted us not only with resources, time, gifts, and opportunities, but also with His message, His presence, and His mission. We are called to steward our lives in such a way that people see the goodness, justice, mercy, and holiness of the King we serve.

This is why the local church matters deeply, always has been and always will be. The church is not simply a gathering of people with common beliefs. The church is the people of God, filled with the Spirit of God, called to display the kingdom of God in the world. When every member understands that he or she is included in God’s ministry, the church becomes a powerful witness to the gospel.

To my brothers and sisters in Victory, and to my brothers and sisters in other Bible-believing and faithful churches, let us be encouraged. Let us not shrink back from the calling God has given us, let us not think that ministry belongs only to a few and let us not wait for a title before we serve, speak, pray, disciple, encourage, give, and bear witness.

We are a royal priesthood.

This means we can be bold in proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom. We can speak of Christ with conviction and compassion. We can tell people that Jesus is not only Savior, but King. We can point people to the saving grace of Jesus, not because we are eloquent, but because the gospel is the power of God for salvation.

This also means we can be bold in demonstrating the gospel of the kingdom. We can love the broken, serve the needy, care for the weak, forgive those who hurt us, pursue justice, practice generosity, and bring the presence of Christ into our homes, workplaces, campuses, communities, and cities.

The world does not only need to hear a message from the church. The world needs to see a people shaped by the message of Christ. The world needs to see what life looks like when Jesus is truly King.

We are not called to build our own names, platforms, reputations, or kingdoms. We are called to bear witness to Jesus. We are called to represent His good rule in a world that desperately needs His grace, truth, justice, and peace.

So let us live faithfully. Let us serve courageously. Let us speak boldly. Let us pray expectantly. Let us minister joyfully.

Because in Christ, we have access to God. Because in Christ, we have been entrusted with ministry. Because in Christ, every believer is a priest… and through the power of the Holy Spirit, every faithful act done in the name of Jesus can become a visible sign that the kingdom of God is breaking into the world.

May our churches be filled with ordinary men and women who live with extraordinary kingdom purpose. May we proclaim the gospel with boldness, demonstrate the gospel with love, and bear faithful witness until the nations see that Jesus is King.